THE BEFORE/AFTER PIX YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

GOTCHA YA S.O.B.! Tricked ya with the title. You probably thought you were getting before AND after photos, but alas, you are not. I know, you, my fans (hi mom) are disappointed! This is a post of just the before photos because I would have nothing else to write about if I just immediately showed ya the good stuff!

A fun fact about this hell hole is that it was very difficult to photograph: the rooms were chopped up, everything was on the red-brown color spectrum, and it had essentially been ransacked by my grandparents so there was no furniture to give dimension or a sense of space.

Below begins the photo montage!

There she is! This little nugget is nestled behind a ridiculously overgrown lawn, trees, bushes, and flowers! All of which managed to have thorns! WHY DO OLD PPL LOVE THORNY PLANTS?!  I call this house “the double-wide” because it looks exactly like a trailer park home, but I assure you this is firmly built into the ground. There is so much more to say about the exterior and we will get there! SO STOP ASKING! Be patient, you psychopath!

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You walk in the front door-BAM! Immediately overtaken by the 1970’s “neutral” color pallet, otherwise affectionately referred to as “if red, orange, and brown had a baby!” Quite reminiscent of basements where everything went on from post Thanksgiving wrestling matches with cousins to awkward make out sessions your high school boyfriend. It is the perfect backdrop to all such occasions! The second living room photo is from the other direction. (Side note: the entire house, other than the kitchen, had blue shag carpet. Unfortunately, my grandparents removed the gorgeous monstrosity. They found wood floors throughout the whole house that had been perfectly protected by the carpet. Magic!)

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Below is a picture of the master bedroom. The other two bedrooms look very similar so they are not photographed here. (Note: the drapes….to die for….)

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There is not a “master bath” in this little shanty, but there is a large bathroom and a small bathroom. Below is the large bathroom and it is easy to see this is not actually a “large bathroom”. #ammmmmiright?! This bathroom was also shag-carpet laden and so my grandparents removed it and put in cement board. #blessed. (Please note the curtains! They’re perfect for any Valentine’s day fantasy in a motel, heart shaped bathtub <3)

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Below is the smaller bathroom and the only remnant of the blue shag! SOAK IT IN PPL!

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The photo below captures the dining area and the transitional space between the living room and kitchen. (Please note the paper-thin, office building carpet in the dining area. It went really well with the blue shag!)

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Now…the kitchen! There are SO MANY things to highlight in this kitchen. For starters, the original appliances. They worked! Can you believe it? If we wanted an oven that was always the wrong temperature, we would have kept it. And of course there is the wide-gaping, I might lose my children in there, fridge hole. I love taking the food down to the “cellar” for cooling. Also, the fluorescent lighting. Nothing says home quite like having an oral-surgery-grade light fixture in the kitchen. And of course, the real star of the show: THE CURTAINS. Don’t worry, as sustainable remodelers, we were very intentional about saving things that could be reused or repurposed; we repurposed these into some sexy lingerie, a doily for the side table, and Pinterest inspired vintage pillowcase. Very handy!

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LAST PICTURE PTL BECAUSE I AM OUT OF CREATIVITY: SCREENED IN PORCH. You could get to the porch through the lace curtains and door in the kitchen. The porch’s blue ceiling definitely did make it feel like the open sky. Another excellent choice by granny!

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